5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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