From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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