You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
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she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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