Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize