Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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