Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize