Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I want her autograph on my taint
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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