What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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