She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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