There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
