were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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