Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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