All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
