He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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