I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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