god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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