why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
