My nipple is on Facebook.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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