Will you blow on my dice?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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