Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.