the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness