Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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