Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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