and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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