her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize