i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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