I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
