Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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