Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
