I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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