She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize