Even water is tasting like jack daniels
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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