So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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