Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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