dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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