I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize