I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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