wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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