Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize