508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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