Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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