4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize