Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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