I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize