worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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