I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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