You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just found a bag of teeth...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
