So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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