I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
