It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way