Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.