Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture