you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it