I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.