NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
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i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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