R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
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I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize